A Day in the Life of a Hammer

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I’ve got no eyes, so I don’t sleep.  That’s fine with me; I don’t need no sleep.  I’ve got nerves of steel; don’t worry, I can take it.  My day begins when Mr. Owner wants to use me.  That said, I’m a pretty young hammer, ’cause my owner doesn’t use me very much, so not too many days begin for me.  The hammer next door, let me tell you, he’s ancient.  His owner is a carpenter, but that’s besides the point.  I’m gettin’ lucky today though.  Mr. Owner wants to use me for a project.  Building a dog-house, he is.  What’s a dog?

I eat nails for breakfast.  It’s why I’ve got nerves of steel.  Bam! Bam!  Bam! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! It’s a pain in the…head to be a hammer.  I don’t mind though.  I’ve got nerves of steel.  The pain is good.  No pain no gain, that’s the way I like it.  I’ve got nerves of steel.  I’m here to do a job.  Did I mention I’ve got nerves of steel?

I’m eating up nails like Mr. Owner eats…what Mr. Owner eats.  I’ve got nerves of steel.  The tools in the shed, they might be sharper, but they say, “Dang, he’s got nerves of steel!  How do you have nerves of steel?”  And I tell them, “Well it’s ’cause I eat nails!”.  The nails in the shed don’t like me very much…

Mr. Owner’s wife calls him in for lunch.  I lay in the grass, looking up at the cloudy sky.  A job well done.  I’ve got nerves of steel.  Nothing can stop me.  But then, my age old foe decides to confront me.  His agents fall from the sky, missiles falling all about me.  Rust laughs as he begins his assault.  But I’m not afraid.  I’ve got nerves of steel.


4 thoughts on “A Day in the Life of a Hammer

    Erin McCole Cupp said:
    April 8, 2014 at 8:36 PM

    This is brilliant! You had me laughing in all the right places. I love this hammer’s voice!

      Aul responded:
      April 8, 2014 at 9:08 PM

      Thanks! It means a lot to me!

    sarahansari said:
    April 11, 2014 at 12:39 AM

    I agree with Erin McCole Cupp. If tools could talk and think, this exactly what a hammer would. Great job!!!

      Aul responded:
      April 11, 2014 at 1:06 AM

      LoL, thanks 🙂

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