So I’ve just been thinking.
I read a post recently over at http://befreebird.com/. I can’t say that her writing was perfect. I can’t say that she proofread her work very well. But her writing was so simple, and so beautiful. It really made me think, “Gee, I wanna right something beautiful like that.” I came back to my blog, and I thought, “Her blog, everything about it, makes you feel free, light, and inspired. I don’t feel that way when I look at my blog, or read through my content.”
I started to feel like something is missing. That “light-heartedness”, that free, optimistic feeling. It’s not here. I felt like, “Wouldn’t that be great if I could give people such a feeling of hope.” I wish I could.
But then I took another look at my blog.
The background—it’s dark. It’s epic, it’s magical, and it’s beautiful, but I don’t see happiness written in it. It doesn’t brighten up my mood just by looking at it. And the content…my content. Some of it may be beautiful too. But it’s not cheerful necessarily. It’s not optimistic.
This has helped me to discover what my blog is; a big part of what my writing is and what it’s about.
It’s about struggle. I see struggle whenever I look at that magical, awesome, bluish golden sky that is my background. I see determination and anger in my writing. I see a desire for something more. I see a desire to have people understand what I’m writing for. And none of this can be achieved without struggle.
That’s when the somber, earnest appearance breaks, and the freedom, the cheerfulness, and the happiness is released. That’s when light breaks through the gray clouds; that’s when the storm clears.
There’s something beautiful here.
I can feel it.
It took me a long time to discover it. And I hope you will too.
Thanks for reading,